The eagle's masque — Inside the Classic

g._ was the word—you may ask, How the Queen knew the Gull, notwithstanding his mask? Why, an Eagle looks sharper than I, or than you, Sir, And, without any spectacles, knows who is who, Sir. Each Masquer, in order presented, fell flat. And the CARDINAL lifted his claw to his _hat_. First compliments over, the Revels are brewing— Assist me, O Proteus! to tell what was doing, While Birds of all feathers, all habits, all sizes, All tongues, and all climates, were met in disguises. First the huge ALBATROSS, with his crony, the PENGUIN, (Like most other sea-faring folk, over sanguine) Had hop’d their identity nicely to veil, By attempting the waddle and cry of the QUAIL. Not to mention the MANAKIN, too—little varlet! Who, because he was born to be crested with scarlet, And wears a blue spencer, so sparkish and glossy,— Not satisfied thus to look handsome and saucy,

The _helmet_ put on of the great CASSOWARY, So fierce!—you’d have back’d him to fight with a Fairy, The BOOBY, by nature a blockhead confest, In the top-knot and train of the PEACOCK was drest; But of all whom the stratagem aim’d to seduce, He could make but two converts—the GULL and the GOOSE. The said Goose, with her distant Relation, GOOSANDER, } (As the husband of each was afraid to command her,) } Wore the breeches ... I mean, wore the garb, of the GANDER. } The COOT, and the CURLEW, the MALLARD, and TEAL, (For once, and for ever, their names to conceal,) To the RAZOR-BILL went with a singular suit— That the webs he would slit of each membranous foot; From a cunning conceit that the length of their toes Would throw dust in the eyes of their natural foes. “The chief reason,” said they, “why the favor we ask ye, Is because, as we hear, little Count Borowlaski Last night, for a Pigmy, was chas’d by a CRANE, But, by standing on tip-toe, escap’d being slain; And it matters but little, since life is so sweet, If we save it by slitting, or stretching, our feet.” The BUZZARD,—a mighty weak kind of a fowl, } Hit on no better method of seeming an OWL, } Than by catching a Mouse, and affecting to howl. } The BUTCHER-BIRD, too, changing battle for love, In the plumes of a PIGEON, made up to a dove: He could manage the billing, though out in the cooing— As well might a _Kitten_ sham _Cow_ ... and be mooing! But his dove in a twinkling escap’d from his view, And return’d, in the crest of a fierce COCKATOO: Whilst ye, tiny TITS!—both the _lark_, and the _mouse_— Drest your legs up in feathers, and call’d yourselves GROUSE. But it would surely have forc’d an old hermit to laugh, Had he seen the gay FINCHES,—_gold_, _green_, _bull_, and _chaff_, By vanity blinded, and panting for praise, As SWANS, or as TURKEYCOCKS, dancing the hays! Conceive, too—but I can’t conceive it if you can, Little WREN bending under the beak of the TOUCAN! While the Toucan himself, though an hundred times bigger, Votes his own bill a bore,—as you’ll easily figure. Not a bird of the air can you bring me whose belly Can half as much hold as the pouch of the PELI- CAN:—yet in despite of his size and his maw, (’Twas in vain to object) he _would_ come as a DAW! And what shall we think of the NIGHTINGALE’S folly, } Who, no longer “most musical, most melancholy,” } A green Domino wore, and kept screaming “poor Polly!” } Whilst POLL was like other pragmatical Youngsters, Who, because they are talkers, must set up for songsters.