Poems — A Closer Reading

Then was my heart, as ever, far away With you,--and I could see you as one sees A mirrored face,--and happiness and ease And hope were mine, in spite of long delay.

After these months of waiting, this is all! Hope, dead, lies coffined, shrouded in despair, With all the blessings of the outer air Forgot, 'neath the black covering of a pall. Only the darkening of the woodland ways, A heart's low moaning over wasted days.

The world to-day is radiant, as I ne'er Could picture it in wildest dreaming, when For long, long hours I lay in flowery glen Or wooded copse, and tried in vain to tear The glamour from my eyes, and face the glare And tumult of the busy world of men. I staked my all, and won! and ne'er again Can my blest spirit know a heart's despair.

And yet--and yet--why should it be that now, When all my heart has longed for is at last Within my grasp, and I should be at rest, A ghostly Something rising in the glow Of Love's own fire, an uninvited guest, Taunts me with just one memory of the past!

The sky, grown dull through many waiting days, Flashed into crimson with the sunrise charm, So all my love, aroused to vague alarm, Flushed into fire and burned with eager blaze. I saw thee not as suppliant, with still gaze Of pleading, but as victor,--and thine arm Gathered me fast into embraces warm, And I was taught the light of Love's dear ways.

This day of triumph is no longer thine, Oh conqueror, in calm exclusive power.-- As evermore, through storm, and shade, and shine, Your woe my pain, your joy my ecstasy, We breathe together,--so this blessed hour Of self-surrender makes my jubilee!

RONDEAU.--I WILL FORGET.

I will forget those days of mingled bliss And dear delicious pain,--will cast from me All dreams of what I know can never be, Even the remembrance of that parting kiss. I knew that some day it would come to this In spite of all our sworn fidelity, That I must banish even memory, And, sorrowing, learn to say, nor say amiss I will forget.

I register this vow, and am content That it be so. Ah me!--yet, if the door Shut on our heaven might be asunder rent Even now, and I could see the way we went, I might retract my vow, and say no more I will forget.

RONDEAU.--WHEN SUMMER COMES.

When summer comes, and when o'er hill and lea The sun's strong wooing glow hath patiently Shed o'er the earth long days his golden dower, And then, by force of his own loving power, Drawn the hard frost, and left it passive, free To give forth all its sweets untiringly, Shall not the day rise fair for thee and me, And all life seem but as an opening flower When summer comes?

The days move slowly, young hearts yearn to be Together always, cannot brook to see Their love-days pass, and void each sunny hour, Yet may we smile, e'en when fate's storm-clouds lower, Waiting fulfilment of our hearts' decree When summer comes.

RONDEAU.--IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.

It might have been so different a year To what _has_ been; the summer's guileless play Not all a jest, comes back to me to-day In added sweetness, and provokes a tear. Strange pictures rise, pass on, and disappear. Drawn from your tender words of yesterday When, looking in my eyes in the old way You told me of your life, how passing dear It might have been.

Useless to dream, more useless to regret! We might have lived and loved, nor lost the glow Of Love's first sweet intensity;--to let These foolish fancies die I strive,--and yet I still must count it happiness to know It might have been.

RONDEAU.--BROTHER AND FRIEND.

Brother and friend I found thee in the hour Of need and day of trouble, strong and true.-- In June's fair mirth, and when the sunrise hue Shewed bright where joy had built his thoughtless bower, Thou wert a child to sport with, something lower Than a friend's need. I gave, methought, thy due,-- An elder sister's gentleness, nor knew That ere Spring dawned my soul would feel thy power. Brother and Friend!

A man, with a man's strength, and will, and fire, I know thee, my Alcides; thus a god For some fair soul to reverence, and desire To own and worship. _I_ can place thee higher To-day, in naming thee,--pain's paths just trod-- Brother and Friend.